Finding Their "Thing"

Followers of the blog will know that I have written about my son before.  Those who know me personally will know that I talk about both of my kids often.  While both of my children are fantastic little human beings, my son is faced with an additional challenge in his life.  About three years ago, he was diagnosed with what was then called Asperger's Syndrome and is now labeled Autism Spectrum Disorder.

As I have written in an earlier post, we have been blessed by a fantastic team of educators that work with him at school and have seen phenomenal growth in his communication, self-regulation and peer interactions.  My wife and I have also tried him in a wide range of activities like baseball, soccer, gymnastics and art classes in attempt to support socialization and help him find his "thing."  Shortly after my son was born, I remember thinking about how great it would be to bond with my son over some of my own interests.  It may seem a bit cliche, but I envisioned a boy excited about playing sports in the backyard, watching football on the TV together and us tinkering in the garage on daddy's latest project.  Nothing we had tried sparked an interest nor created an opportunity for him to be successful at something the other kids might think as "cool."

Now as an educator I know that children's interests evolve over time and that it is not that important to be seen as "cool"; however, as a father I worried about him making friends.  I know that ASD will make social situations awkward for him.  I worried that he would struggle to reach out and make friends.  Without some common interests to draw others in, I worried it would be hard for him to develop relationships with his peers.  I also worried about our ability to find something to bond over as father and son.

And then it happened; we found his "thing".  What seemed like an innocuous invite from a close friend this winter to go ride ATV's on his parents' frozen pond turned into an amazing opportunity for our son do unlock a hidden passion.  He quickly took to the controls, figured out how to maneuver the ATV and was quickly racing around the pond.  Once the snow melted, we borrowed the ATV from our friend and made a small course for him at our house.  By the end of the weekend, my wife and I were discussing the possibility of purchasing him a 4-wheeler of his own.... he hasn't looked back since.  And now father and son have a common interest (even if daddy prefers two wheels to four).

So why do I tell this story?   As an educator and a leader, this story reinforces for me the importance of helping everyone (students and staff) find their "thing".  Sometimes finding someone's "thing" is easy, it is almost as if they were born to do their thing and they have known it since they were a fetus.  For others, the process is more complicated, time-consuming and more resembles a meandering country path that appears to never end.  Regardless of differences in the journey, those of us that lead others (whether it be a class of students, department or entire school) have a responsibility to help those in our organization find their "thing" and then help it to grow and find ways that it will support the overall growth of the organization.

Take the Time

Helping others to find their "thing" requires you to take the time to really get to know them.  It starts with small things.  

In a classroom it means taking the time to know exactly how a student's name is pronounced, how you spell his/her first and last name and who cares for this child when he/she goes home at the end of the day.  It means allowing them to explore new experiences early and often in the school year either through real, hands-on experiences or vicariously through literature.  And most importantly it means speaking with our students often.  We all speak at our students regularly, but it is so very important to take the time each day to speak with a few of our students; to listen to what they have to say, question, express genuine interest and learn.

In a building it means many of these same things.  A principal, assistant principal, department head needs to take the time to get to know his/her people.  He/she has to take the time to listen to staff in the building, learn about their lives, explore their interests and seek opportunities to connect the staff's personal passions with the needs of the school.

Moment to Shine

Every student deserves to have a moment to shine, a moment where the other kids look at him/her and say, "Wow, I didn't know she could do that!"  We had that happen just last week here at our school.  During Field Day, one otherwise reserved and socially timid boy stepped up to the Karaoke station and impressed the rest of the students (and staff) with his vocal skills.  Had one of the teachers not suggested that we have a Karaoke station and taken the time to get the music and write out the lyrics, that opportunity may never have presented itself.

We owe it to our students to push beyond what we find comfortable, what we enjoy and what we know in order to allow them to explore new areas that may help them discover their "thing".  This is most important for our students who operate outside the norm, those students that don't seem to fit in with the rest of the group, whose interests diverge from the pack.  And if we, as adults, operate inside the norm, we will have to push ourselves outside our comfort zone in order to meet these children where they reside so that we can get to know them and support their self-discovery.

#firstworldproblems

Twitter is a mechanism that I use predominantly for my own professional learning, but I do have a few guilty pleasures that I indulge in occasionally while on Twitter.  One of these is to explore the hashtag 'firstworldproblems.'  This hashtag is a lighthearted look at the things we all find ourselves complaining about from time to time.  The hashtag is based on the idea that there are problems that only people who live in the "first world" find themselves worrying about.  Some of my favorites are: "I am so bummed that the remote car starter in my new car doesn't turn on my heated seats #firstworldproblems"  and "I'm going to try to improve my sleep cycle by not looking at a screen an hour before going to bed. #firstworldproblems"

I search this hashtag for a couple of reasons.  The primary reason is that when someone posts a well thought-out, snarky or sardonic tweet it brings a smile to my day.  However, a secondary reason for monitoring this hashtag is a reminder to myself to keep things in perspective.

As a building leader, I face challenges, roadblocks and problems each and every day.  Some of these are my own and some are those that I am helping my staff solve.  From time to time, I find myself stuck in the negative, only seeing the roadblocks; losing site of the road ahead for the challenges in front of me.

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Knowing that this can happen to me occasionally, I actively seek opportunities to help me reflect on the positive.  Whether it be reminders of the great things that are going on in my school, my district or in my personal life, it is important for me to take time each day to reflect on the positive, the
successes and the joy that came from that day.

I have always felt like this was a good way to approach things and thought that it made a lot of sense; however, it wasn't until beginning to read a book entitle The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor that I realized there is a lot of science to support the benefits.

Research on the brain has shown that the brain develops patterns for how it views the world, deciding what information to let in to be processed and what information to filter completely out as if it never happened.  Our brains do this automatically all the time.  A simple example of this is when you are in a room for a long time and no longer hear a certain background noise until someone points it out to you.  This happens because our brain determines which stimuli to focus on and which to ignore.  It is an important survival mechanism that is a part of our evolutionary history.  (No need for the brain to be focussing on the dripping noise from the back of the cave when the saber-toothed tiger is entering the cave opening.)

The most interesting part is that this phenomenon can actually shape our reality.  "Repeated studies have shown that two people can view the same situation and actually see different things, depending on what they are expecting to see." (Achor, p. 96).  If our brains are "looking" for negative things, bad luck, and people out to get us, it will cue in on every instance where it may be happening.  As a result, our "reality" is that these negative things are always happening to us.  However, if our brains are "looking" for the positives, good luck and people that are supporting us we see those things more often.

I found it promising to read that it is possible to change your brain patterns and therefore change your view of reality.  Achor discusses in his book that we are currently bombarded with a lot of stimuli that train our brains to see the negative.  News coverage, trolls on the internet, uncivil political discourse and a whole host of other actions constantly bombard us with negative images that train our brains to think this is the way of the world.  However we have the power to change this perception.  

I have begun to do a simple activity that I got from Achor's book.  At the end of each day, I take five minutes to write down three things from that day or my life in general that are good things.  Research has shown that this simple little activity will "train the brain to be more skilled at noticing and focussing on possibilities for personal and professional growth."  (Achor, p. 101).  He also stresses the importance of practicing joyful things, things that make you smile and laugh.  Our brain needs practice with these things to be primed to notice them in our environment.

So if you catch me thumbing through #firstworldproblems on my iPhone, know that I am not goofing off.  Rather I am practicing some intensive brain training to build a happier, more positive brain that is always on the look out for opportunity and as a result will be more productive.

3 Things I learned at Great Wolf Lodge

This post is a re-blog of a section from my March Newsletter to families in my school.

A couple of weekends ago my family and I spent a weekend at Great Wolf Lodge in Fitchburg, MA. Now for any not familiar with "GWL" (as my kids call it), it is a destination hotel for families. Essentially once you arrive at the hotel there is no real reason to leave. It has an indoor water park, an arcade, miniature golf, a ropes course, and restaurants to name a few things ... it even has it's very own Dunkin Donuts (praise be!).

The two and a half hour drive home from the hotel gave me a lot of time to reflect on the trip (while everyone else in the car slept). By the time I pulled into my driveway, I had come to thee conclusions about our experience:

1. Kids have perseverance - GWL has this attraction called the Magi-Quest. A Magi-Quest is an interactive experience for the kids that takes them all over the hotel complex. The kids start when they receive their wand and are sent to the Quest Stones. From the stones, they are sent on a series of quests and adventures in order to attain Master Magi status. Completing the ten quests and three adventures took us approximately 10 - 12 hours spread over the three days we were there and had us going from one side of the hotel to the other at least three dozen times. My two children (6 and 9) almost killed their parents in trying to complete the Magi-Quest. There were determined to get to Master Magi status (which got them a pin) and they were not
   
   going to give up.
   
   This experience reaffirmed my belief that kids have the capability to persevere; to stick with something until it is done even if it is hard. Our challenge as parents and educators is to create an environment where they value the outcome, value the process, and to help them see the connection between hard work and success.
   
2. We all need a little fun - I have a difficult time sometimes leaving my job at the office. I often find myself thinking about the school or the upcoming transition in the car, the shower, going to sleep, when I wake up, etc. Sometimes it is hard to break that pattern and I have a tough time being just a dad, just a husband, just a guy and not The Principal. However, the longer that I was at GWL the more and more I was able to separate from my job and connect with myself and my family. I am currently reading a book called The Happiness Advantage, written by Shawn Achor a psychology researcher at Harvard. In this book Achor talks about something called the Tetris Effect. Simply stated, brain research has shown that what the brain practices is what it perceives in the world, to the point where it actually shapes our reality.
   
   Therefore, the more we "train" our brain to do fun things, to think positively and to enjoy things that are happening in our life, the more likely we are to encounter things that are fun, positive and joyful. With practice, our brain scans the environment looking for these things and we notice them more often. In just my short time practicing fun things at GWL, I came back to the "real world" more energized, positive and happy.
   
3. Being a little uncomfortable in the short term can lead to great things in the long term - The main attraction at GWL is the indoor water park. In addition to a wave pool, lazy river, and water playground, the hotel also has several large waterslides that start inside the building, travel outside and then dump you back inside the complex. Of my two children, my six year old son can be the more timid about trying new things. When presented with the option of going on the slides when we arrived, he gave us his patented "I'm good" response, which roughly translates to "there is no way I am doing that." My wife and I talked and decided this was something we needed to help him overcome. With a little bit of cajoling and a whole lot of persistence, we got him to start up the stairs with us to the top of the slide. The closer we got to the top, the higher the pitch got in his voice and a little bit of water started to build up in his eyes. We told him that he was safe, that we were there and that we would do it with him. He protested, we insisted, and he ultimately went down the slide with us... and absolutely loved it!
   
   
   
   There are a lot of things that kids face for the first time that may seem a bit scary and impossible to overcome. However, as adults we have to work with them to move past the anxiety and embrace the challenge. In school we work to ensure them that they are safe and the failure is an option, but only as an opportunity to learn, grow and try again. As Rutherford B. Hayes once said, "The expert at anything was once a beginner" and sometimes it feels uncomfortable to be a beginner, but that is the first step in any important journey.

Differentiated Instruction: An Idea Worth Keeping

Initiative Fatigue

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The field of education, like any other industry I am sure, can fall victim to its own ideas.  Each time a new initiative, mandate or theory is rolled out in a district, there is at least one seasoned educator in the group that will say, "this too shall pass."  His/her experience tells us that this statement is likely true.  More than one "magic bullet" has been brought into school systems to save the day and left that same district with the leader that brought it there.

Unfortunately, this belief that nothing is here to stay and that all new ideas are just a fad means that sometimes the really good ideas don't get the proper investment.  Now don't get me wrong, we as educational leaders are responsible for this reality; we have created this monster all on our own. However, it is important that we do the work to show our staff the good ideas when they come along, push everyone (including ourselves) to grow as professionals and to celebrate the great teaching moments when they happen.

Our latest victim

Differentiated Instruction (DI) is a 21st century victim of the "this too shall pass" mentality.  Yeah sure, it gets plenty of lip service.  DI gets tossed around in conversations and is pointed to by many leaders as "something that teachers need to do more of", but as we dig into what people mean by those statements we often find they don't really understand what DI is.  However, it has stood the test of time and educational leaders have a responsibility to help grow their own knowledge base in this area and support their teachers in the development of theirs.

This year our faculty has been working to deepen our understanding of what DI is, and what it isn't.  We have been using Rick Wormeli's book Fair Isn't Always Equal to anchor our conversations.  Early next year, we will be fortunate enough to video conference with Rick and dig deeper into his thoughts and ideas on DI as well as provide our teachers with more practical examples on how they can differentiate instruction and assessment to best meet the needs of their students.

In our own backyard

During an unannounced observation of a classroom earlier this month, I was fortunate enough to witness DI in action.  When I entered Mrs. Neske's fourth grade classroom I could see that the students were working on multiplication (specifically, powers of ten) and that a significant number of the students were struggling to understand this new concept as it was being taught to them.

Mrs. Neske was using several pedagogical techniques that support student learning.  She modeled the work for her students, utilized technology for increased engagement, showed enthusiasm for the content through her tone of voice, and created opportunities for students to immediately practice with the new concept.  However, despite all these great teaching moves, the students were still not connecting with the material.  At this point in the lesson, Mrs. Neske had already begun to differentiate in the way that she was addressing different learning styles; however, what she did in the next ten minutes truly dug into the differences in readiness among her students, and that is where the power of DI truly exists.

Mrs. Neske was sensing that the students were struggling with the concept as a whole group.  She said things like, "This is a little confusing.  I totally agree.  We are learning something new and that is normal.  I will model the next one."  and "How do we feel about that one?"  She did not stop here however.

Mrs. Neske understands the power of assessments and she had planned opportunities to collect assessment data into her lesson.  After the whole group practice she had students answer four questions independently on personal whiteboards.  She used this time to circulate the room and collect informal assessment data on the progress of her students.  She was also able to intervene with two students and provide some one-to-one instruction.  

After the students shared out their answers (by showing the teacher their whiteboard), Mrs. Neske was beginning to see that some students were ready to apply their new knowledge in independent practice while others were still floundering with the concept.  In response, she attempted one more tactic.  She gave the students one more problem and asked them to discuss their strategies for solving it at their table groups.  This way students could hear from each other in "student speak" which created an opportunity for students to learn the concept in a new way.

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Had the lesson ended here and all the students had gone to independent practice, it would be hard to argue that Mrs. Neske had not done her job as an educator.  She had presented new information in an engaging, exciting manner, connected it to prior learning, planned for and conducted informal assessment, modeled and provided opportunities for students to share their math reasoning.  It was what she did next that hit the DI home run.  

Mrs. Neske conducted one more assessment, which she called a "blind check-in."  She explained that the check-in would tell her what she was going to do for the next 5 minutes.  She asked the students to close their eyes and give her a thumbs up if she could give them a quiz right now and they would be good to go, a thumb sideways if they needed a little more help from the teacher or a peer, and a thumbs down if they did not even know where to start.  She quickly scanned the room and wrote down student names on a piece of paper.  

She then used the computer attached to her projector to type of a quick set of directions for students that identified independent practice problems for them to work on in their workbooks.  Once the students had begun on this independent practice, she used her list to pull six students to the carpet for small group re-teaching on this concept.  DI brilliance!

Pulling it together

When we think of DI in our classrooms and schools, there is value in discussing multiple intelligences, learning styles, interests and personality profiles.  However, where the rubber meets the road is in differentiation around readiness.  It is imperative that we consider ways to meet students at their readiness level and utilize instructional approaches that meets students where they are and move them to the next step.  

Vgotsky spoke of the Zone of Proximal Development (ZPD), the area beyond what we know comfortably but before complete ignorance and frustration.  The best learning happens when students are operating in this zone, and in order for us to get our students there, it will be necessary for us to push ourselves into our own ZPD.  Our growth as leaders, teachers and a school is the only way to ensure the growth of our students.  

Is it time to Unplug? At least a little bit...

Let me begin by saying that I am not an advocate for an unplugged lifestyle.  I have no plans of moving to a remote area in Montana that is 200 miles from the nearest cellphone tower and where homes get both their heat and light from a well maintained fireplace.  However, I would be lying if I did not say that I have thought at least once, that we have gone a bit off the deep end with our "connectivity."

I am a proud owner of an iPad, iPhone, laptop and a WiFi household.  I have accounts on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook and Google.  I blog, tweet, text, status update and "cyber-creep" as much as the next guy.  I can access every digital data point in my life from my phone and as long as I have a charge... I am always reachable.

Now that we have established that I can and that I do, the question is should I?  As I stated above, I am not going unplugged anytime soon.  I will not be living off the grid.  However, I have found myself recently feeling like something was not quite right, that perhaps something was missing, or lost.  

This past Monday I attended the Literacy for All Conference in Providence, RI.  One of the many sessions I attended was entitled, Teachers as Digital Writers.  The presenter, Kristen Hawley Turner (@teachKHT) showed us this video below entitled, Can We Auto-Correct Humanity?  Now there is a good chance you have seen the video as it has almost 8.5 million views at the time of this post, but if you have not I recommend taking three and 1/2 minutes to watch.

I have been thinking about this video a lot these past few days.  Some of my time thinking has been spent as a husband, father and friend.  In those times I have considered the messages I am sending to my children and my wife when I am home.  Am I connecting with them, loving them, laughing with them, embracing the short time we have together?  I have also spent time thinking as a leader.  I have challenged myself to examine my values and then compare those values to my behaviors.  

Leadership is about relationships.  Effective leaders take the time to build quality relationships with the people they work with, to build trust, to get to know their staff and let their staff get to know them.  This is because in order for you to lead, people must follow and people will not follow those that they don't know, feel don't know them and most importantly those that they do not trust.

As I have already stated, I can do my entire job from my phone.  I can send information in various formats, document student learning and teacher performance, stay up to date on current trends in education, approve budgetary expenditures and much more.  If I wanted to get really crazy, I could Skype or Face Time in for faculty meetings... quite frankly, the mechanics of my job could probably be done by a well programmed computer.  However, this is not what makes for good leadership, it is what makes for a good manager, and I aspire to be a good leader.

So it is important for me to remember to get out of my chair and talk with someone rather than sending an email, to ask questions about the lives of those I work with, to create opportunities for faculty to converse, and to sacrifice immediate access to information so that I can take a few minutes to talk with a student.

The irony that I am using a blog to share my thoughts on this topic and the fact that I will likely publicize it on Twitter is not lost on me.  All good things come in moderation and technology is no different.  So as a father, husband, friend and leader I resolve to put down my phone a little more often, to look up and to connect with my own humanity and the humanity that surrounds me.  

4 Things I Learned from Running a Ragnar

A little over a week ago, I participated in the "Reach the Beach" relay that started at Cannon Mountain in Franconia, NH and ended 207 miles later in Hampton Beach, NH.  The race is part of a series of similar races called Ragnar Relays.  The basic premise is that you work together as a team to cover the entire length of the course over 24-36 hours; one member of your team is always running.  This was my first time participating in one of these events.

Now to non-runners out there, you may be thinking I should have my head examined, but it was the most fun I have ever had in a running event.

During the drive home and the days that followed, I found myself reflecting a lot on the lessons that I learned in completing the Ragnar.  Some were simple and running related like bring ear plugs to help sleeping, stretch more, pack bagels, etc. Others were more philosophical and more directly related to my work in education.  As I distilled my thinking over the past week, I found that there were four major take-aways for me from completing the Ragnar.

1.  The individual is only as powerful as their team
A few years back I went to a presentation on PLC's by Rick and Becky DuFour.  Among the many concepts they discussed, one was regarding the mythology created by Hollywood about the "Hero Teacher."  Movies like Stand and Deliver, Dangerous Minds, Coach Carter, and Lean on Me present the image of one individual taking on the establishment; the lone voice looking out for the best interests of students.

The truth is that in any organization, schools in particular, lasting improvement and growth is only accomplished through a group effort.  Professionals working together to identify areas of need, developing solutions to address those needs and collecting feedback on the effectiveness of those solutions has been proven time and again to make for sustained school improvement.

I had to rely on my teammates to properly prepare themselves for and execute their portions of the relay in order for us to be successful as a team.  Equally, they needed to rely on me to meet my responsibilities.  Only together, as an interdependent team, were we able to accomplish our goals.

2.  A little cheering along the way helps
In order to keep up with each runner along the course, most teams rent a van and leap frog
their runners throughout the course.  Collectively, over the course of the relay, each member of a Ragnar team has to run 20-30 miles. Runners may have to run in the morning, middle of the day or the middle of the night (or all three).  

There are times in those miles when you are really fighting yourself to keep going and you are feeling all alone.  Throughout the race, as I would start to feel like I couldn't take another step, I would come up to a string of vans pulled over to the side of the road.  The runners "resting" in the van would pile out of the van and cheer on all the runners as they came by.  Each time the cheering gave me a jolt of energy and helped propel me towards the end of my leg; I was filled with a new sense of determination and commitment.

As we progress through change within our schools, meet adversity and experience failure, it is important that we cheer each other on.  Let's be sure to celebrate each other's successes, support each other as we struggle and provide encouragement when we meet with failure.

3.  Pain doesn't hurt so bad when you are with friends
After each member of the team finishes one of their legs in the relay, they have a couple of minutes to stretch out, but quickly have to hop in the van and move ahead to the next transition area.  As you can imagine, 36 hours cramped into a van, occasionally hoping out to run 5-9 miles, can leave you with some sore and stiff muscles.

However, what I learned is that when you are experiencing this pain with a group of friends the pain is not that bad.  Together we found humor in our stiff and ginger steps down stairs, laughed as we groaned getting in and out of the van and distracted each other with a whimsical pursuit of moose along the course.

Laughter goes a long way in healing that which ails us.  It is important the we seek out opportunities to laugh.  Whether it be with our closest friends, our families or our colleagues we should all be sure to take sometime to see the humor in our situation.  I wholeheartedly believe the humor is almost always there, we just have to be willing to go and look for it.

4.  Celebration is sweeter with others and when it is truly earned
I have a fairly regular post-race tradition that involves the ingestion of some not very healthy food and an adult beverage made from water, barley, hops and yeast.  Never have those things tasted so good as they did at the conclusion of the Ragnar.  I contribute that to two factors: the company I was with and the nature of our accomplishment.

While it can be initially frightening to set ambitious goals (What if I am not prepared?  What if I fail?, What if my team lets me down?) the feeling of accomplishment is so much more intense when you know success came due to significant effort.  The sense of accomplishment is further exaggerated when you know that you were part of a team.

When others have experienced the same struggles, missteps, and hard work that you have, they can more readily relate to the significance of your accomplishment.  They know how ambitious the goal was and how impressive it is that you met that goal.  The short of it is, a party is more fun when you invite guests :)

Pass the Salt

Photo Credit:  Flickr.com

As the month of August approached, I started to think about opening day, specifically the first day for teachers.  For those of you that have followed earlier posts, you know that this school year signified a new beginning for me as I started a new year as principal of a new school.  You may also know that our district is undergoing some significant transitions over the next few years.

As I began to prepare my opening day remarks, I found myself thinking a lot about what the staff must be feeling about all the changes that were happening and going to happen.  Here they are with a new principal and assistant principal who are bringing with them a new schedule as the school transitions from being one of three K-8 schools in the district to one of three K-6 schools.  If that was not enough, they know that the school will only remain a K-6 for one year and then it becomes a PreK-2 school for the entire district.

As I began to explore the feelings of uncertainty, loss, anxiety and fear that are likely to be present among the faculty, I found myself reflecting on a moment from my own childhood.

I grew up in Orleans, MA which is a small town located on Cape Cod.  My parents' home was part of a collection of properties owned by members of my father's family.  These properties were located down a small dirt road and they "fell off" from the main dirt road in a series of tiered sections that decreased in elevation down towards a swamp at the far end.  It was a great place for a young boy to grow up.

The infamous driveway

Heading down to my parents' home was one small spit of asphalt driveway coming down a fairly steep hill.  In the winter, the road was not plowed and this hill was always a combination of packed snow and ice.  My parents developed a very sophisticated (heavy sarcasm) approach for getting up the hill.  They would back into my grandparents' driveway, which was the furthest from the base of the hill, and build up as much speed and momentum as they could in attempt to climb the hill.  Sometimes they made it, sometimes they did not and they had to back down the hill and try again.

One wintry morning when I was about 8 we were headed off to who knows where.  My mom was driving the car and my two brothers and I were seated in the bench seat in the back of my mom's station wagon.  These were in the days before mandatory seat belts and car seats, so we were just along for the ride.

On the first attempt my mom was not able to make it to the top of the hill, so she began backing down.  Backing down a snow-packed hill in a boat on wheels with three rambunctious boys in the back seat applying the correct amount of brake pressure is no small task.  About half-way down the hill, the brakes on the car locked and we began to slide.  It is hard to see in the picture above, but on the right hand side of the driveway there is a steep hill that goes up to where my cousins lived.  As we slid backwards down the hill, the car went up that hill with enough force to push the car up on two wheels.

Here I was eight years old, sitting in the left hand side of the car watching the right hand side (and my two brothers) raise up into the air above me.  I remember it feeling like it was happening in slow motion, and as it was feelings of fear, anxiety and panic welled up in me... OH MY GOD THE CAR IS GOING TO FLIP OVER.  Just as I was about to scream out, my mother, as if asking someone to pass the salt, said, "I guess we are going over."  In that one moment, I went from panic to calm.  I remember thinking, "well if she is not that worried about it, I guess this is not going to be that bad."

The car paused in mid air, for what seemed like half a day, before gravity took hold and the car began to head back in the other direction and landed back on all four tires.  Without missing a beat, my mom continued to back the car down the hill into my grandparents driveway and went right back up the hill.  This time we made it to the top and were off to whatever the rest of the day held for us.  There was no discussion of the event, she just moved forward.

Photo Credit: Flickr.com

As I reflect back on this event, I find myself thinking about it from a different perspective.  Now as a parent, I find myself wondering what my mom must have been thinking in that moment.  Here she was with her three babies in the back seat of a car that was about to flip over; talk about being filled with fear, anxiety and feeling powerless to control something that could harm something so important to her.  However, she never let that show.  I think about what affect my mother had on me in that moment.  Her calm created my calm. She also showed me that failures don't define us.  She did not let her fear define her, nor stop her from trying again.  Instead she went right back up that hill.

As we, as a school, look to the year ahead it is important that we have an open and honest dialogue about our concerns and feelings surrounding the changes coming; however, it is important that we have these conversations among ourselves.  It is important that whatever we are feeling as adults, we are projecting calm, confidence and a positive outlook to our students and community.  THE STUDENTS AND PARENTS WILL LOOK TO US TO SEE HOW THEY SHOULD BE FEELING ABOUT THIS.  We have a significant power to effect the way our community will approach this change, and as Voltaire said (or if you are a Spiderman fan) "With great power comes great responsibility"  We have a responsibility to ensure a smooth transition for the sake of our students.  

As a leader, I know that this begins with me.  The faculty, students and parents need to know that they can count on me to remain calm, confident and positive through this next year.  They need to know that when things are moving quickly, tensions are high and questions dramatically outnumber answers that I will continue to approach our conversations as if only asking to pass the salt.

As we opened school this year, I asked my staff that when they are in their classrooms, feeling like it is all too much, that their car is about to roll over on its roof, I asked them to take a deep breath and make sure they are only asking their students to "pass the salt".  And that once the fear and anxiety have subsided, that they head back up that hill.